The Shadow re-defined

"Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man? The Shadow knows. The Shadow has the power to blind men's mind so they cannot see him." The name of a certain square dance call is 'cast a shadow'. It was familiar to me, I'd heard it many times when I noticed a peculiar thing happen in my mind whenever a certain caller , the caller that was in The Dream chanted the name of the call. The words were repeated by a quiet, emotionless thought. This repetition never occurred except when this one caller chanted the words of the name of the call.

A very quiet thought voice repeated the words 'cast a shadow' in my mind: 'cast a shadow'.

I don't know how many times it happened before I noticed those quiet, emotionless words: 'cast a shadow' then I was somewhat curious about them. The words meant nothing to me for some time. Then the comic books I'd read, the radio show I'd listened to began to link up with words associated with the character in them. I'd heard certain words connected to The Shadow many times when I was a young girl and those words began to lurk about in my mind. I remembered a creepy voice saying these words and shadow was only one of them but it was the only association I knew about: "Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man? The Shadow knows. The Shadow has the power to blind men's mind so they cannot see him."

No other caller that said those words produced the quiet thought words I heard re-occur in my mind and after I noticed it once, I noticed it every time that one caller used them. That caller was in The Dream I'd had in 1982 and that dream had initiated what I described as non-stop thinking. The non-stop thinking was always about the dream and that one caller. I wondered to myself how a short dream could produce so much thought.

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I can't date it exactly but it was very likely in 1983 that I noticed the few events that happened that year when I noticed in my mind the quiet thought words of what I later began to think of as the Counselor's voice. It had 'spoken' it's words a few times recently, in the few months before this happened but I barely noticed and was not curious about what had been inserted into my own thought.

The idea that the words were 'inserted' by some other than 'me' would not have occurred to me or made any sense at all then.

I had never heard of C. G. Jung's ideas about the shadow then and I don't believe his version is connected to the fact that words I'd heard in the past began to register in my mind as a result of hearing the caller chant the words 'cast a shadow'. When I became aware of his definition of the shadow several years later, my experience with 'the Shadow' was that 'he knows what evil lurks in the heart of man, and he can blind men's mind so they do not see him." literally. Not symbolically but literally. I had become aware of that in my private life, with real people and from experiences that were painful lessons that explained to me why my mind, marriage and thoughts had reached the turmoil I was in by 1979. That's when I had a complete hysterectomy, we had an uninsured fire and also we were attached by an extreme interest to two small groups of individuals that were beginning to learn advanced and challenge levels of square dancing.

Leaving the mainstream levels required learning a lot of complicated new ideas, not just new movements but the biggest problem was that all gender roles were removed. That made the 'dance' a very different kind of 'fun' and many people thought it was no longer fun. In 1984 those two groups of individuals were in a physical location with us deeply involved and we all were doing something physical in a material world when the quiet thought voice of the Counselor spoke, a few times, only a few times and eventually I noticed its 'input'.

IT was a thought that occurred one night when I got home late one night any my husband had not left the light on. It spoke another time when I entered a freeway: "You will have to work very hard for this." And another time when I waited in line at McDonalds and noticed an infant a very young infant looking around with what seemed to be an amazed, puzzled look. I wondered what it must be like to be a baby seeing what that infant looked so amazed and puzzled about. Then the counselor spoke. I can't remember the exact words that were said, but essentially they were a warning that I could be handicapped, like a person in an iron lung, or a wheel chair.

It was many years before I realized that what I was doing at the time was 'represented' by entering a freeway. There's only one way, there are few exits and speeds are more rapid than street speeds. I was informed but I knew nothing about attributes, symbols or metaphoric 'facts' until 1989 approached.

After a few years the non-stop thinking veered away from the dream but I didn't notice that myself. The content of the streaming thought was what I was already focused on after 1984 and even then it was about the caller in the dream. I began to read books about quantum physics sometime in 1987 as best I can date it, beginning with Other Worlds by Paul Davies and Wholeness and the Implicate Order by David Bohm as well as other books by authors I'd never read in the past. Thought about the dream began to contain new thought at about the time I began to notice a continual reference in footnotes to A New Era Of Thought by Charles Hinton. Hinton's book, A New Era of Thought was mentioned many times in the body of the book A New Model Of the Universe by P. D. Ouspensky. I'd no interest in Ouspensky, I had read his Fourth Way and Tertium Organun and In Search Of the Miraculous only because they came to my attention in sequence, just by chance. I understood nothing and was not curious except that I noticed in my thought, at certain points a kind of 'added information' occur as I read that puzzled me.

There were a few points in A New Model Of The Universe when I noticed within my thought a kind of 'commentary' that was not quite words but words are required to describe it. I couldn't think of it as another observer within my mind then, or that 'it' was reading what I read with it's own intelligence and 'it' evaluated some of Ouspensky's writing with a gentle mother like superiority! Like he was a child when he wrote Tertium Organun and didn't understand his own book even when he met G. later! Gurdjieff remarked that Ouspensky did not understand his own book and when I read that comment in In Search Of The Miraculous, I remembered the 'mother like' chiding thought I'd had when I'd read Tertium Organun.

A lot happened after 1987 and that's when the stream of thought that had begun after the dream began to veer away from where it originated in The Dream but I didn't notice that until it was made clear in the first 1989 mindquake. I had begun to realize there was a purpose behind the strangeness that had come into my every day life and my thoughts.

The literal sense itself created the 'words' from the Larger Domain and caused them to , seem familiar to me, to stand out for no reason I could see or understand even in the titles of books that by chance came to my attention.

"The 'shadow' has the power to blind men's minds so they do not see him." As a female I began to feel invisible to the men I knew and had known all my life after 15 years of being 'synchronized' with what was happening outside of my body.